not like the other podcasts: raw, unfiltered, real.

i don’t know why i keep going but i’m still here.

In today's episode, I wrestle with the twisted paradox of mental health labels and the painful awareness of feeling endlessly misunderstood. I speak to a hollow ache that never seems to soften, the constant push and pull of life, loss, and the strange comfort of loneliness. I can’t shake the feeling of being cursed or forgotten, a story only half-heard. Maybe it’s a lesson, or maybe it’s just another cosmic joke. Listen in as I question where I fit in a world that never seemed meant for me and ask myself whether life is worth the struggle.
Topics in today’s episode: mental health identity, the illusion of understanding, the weight of loneliness, the curse or gift of mental illness, coping without true support, love and betrayal by family and friends, the search for meaning, cosmic humor and despair, the painful truth of self-awareness, the hope of transformation, dealing with isolation, the pressure to succeed, escaping society’s expectations, divine intervention and existential doubt, feeling like a burden, the failure to find peace, struggling without medication, life’s painful persistence, surviving as an outsider, questioning life’s purpose

i’m not sure what’s next but i’m here and wondering.

In today’s episode, I’m caught somewhere between curiosity and skepticism, observing life’s absurdities and my own restless mind. From the strange rhythms of social cues to the fleeting peace in isolation, I’m not sure where I’m headed or if any of it even matters. I’m reflecting on solitude, haunted thoughts, and that peculiar compulsion to find “the good thought” in everything, wondering what any of it means.
Topics in today’s episode: social dynamics, work frustration, homelessness, non-news media, awkward roommate habits, strange conversation starters, mental repetition, inner power, family tension, loneliness, meaning in life, fleeting connections, strained family relationships, finding purpose, ADHD misconceptions, nature as escape, self-reflection, medication struggles, capitalism and conformity, dreams and nightmares, the mundanity of , societal pressure, resisting temptation, caffeinated survival

i have no idea where i went

Join me as I unravel disjointed thoughts, navigate intense reflections, and embrace unsettling moments on a journey through my own mind. I explore identities that fade and reemerge, moments of cultural dissonance, and darkly introspective questions about society, self-perception, and the fears that linger within.
Topics in today’s episode: identity in chaos, mind as reflection, naming and belonging, the strange boy in my kitchen, feeling misplaced, fears around being seen, unsettling relationships, societal biases and safety, our contradictory selves, breaking toxic connections, intrusive memories, living through historical fear, control in relationships, women and autonomy, awareness vs. action, manipulative love, personal mantras, identity's fragmentation, coping with self-doubt, and the unending quest to find one’s own place.

a day in a mind of fractured realities.

Welcome to a reality where every thought fractures, a stream of whispers collides, and I unfold a day steeped in twisted truths. Wander with me as I venture through a spiraling narrative, where consciousness slips, identity bends, and defiance against forces beyond us is all that remains. In this episode, everything fades as I ask only for moments of your time. Topics in today’s episode: elusive dreams, fractured identity, strange alliances, defiance of authority, the pull of solitude, hidden anger, mystic awakenings, enigmatic figures, surreal daily reflections, and love as a masked force.

why am i still here? the search for purpose amongst chaos.

Each day feels like a test, a loop of strange choices and even stranger realizations. Today I’m exploring what it means to be at the center of my own moral storm, trying to reconcile beliefs, personal transformation, and the noise of everyone else’s lives pressing in around me. Topics in today’s episode: voting in a fractured system, navigating the concept of rights, the unsettling parallels between magic and life’s unplanned chaos, the journey of personal growth, and more

finding myself in the middle of chaos and competition

In today’s episode, I reflect on the chaos of life, the struggles of feeling like a nobody, and the challenges of finding purpose in a world that doesn’t seem to care. From wanting to be a content creator to battling negative emotions, I dive deep into the frustrations, fears, and small victories of just trying to exist.
Topics in today’s episode: self-improvement, battling depression, content creation struggles, personal reflection, emotional intelligence, understanding negative emotions, finding purpose, society's pressures, mental health, creative burnout, feeling like a nobody, inner conflict, staying grounded

i’m just getting started with posting daily but will i burn out?

In today’s episode, I reflect on my daily posting schedule, explore how the full moon might be affecting my emotions, and dive into the strange power of catchy music. Plus, thoughts on AI, independence, and whether burnout is creeping in.
Topics in today's episode: Daily posting, emotions and the full moon, Disney+'s MCU's Agatha All Along, catchy music obsessions, AI advocacy, burnout fears, independence vs family dynamics, and lighthearted thoughts on slavery

laughing through the highs & lows as i reflect on my bipolar journey.

In today’s episode, I share a raw and candid reflection on feeling euphoric and oddly proud of a simple moment of humor. This rollercoaster of emotions brings me to contemplate my bipolar diagnosis and the natural highs we can all experience. Join me as I laugh through these feelings, reflect on past experiences, and dig deeper into the relationship between humor, mania, and self-awareness. A light-hearted yet introspective journey into the mind and soul.
Topics in today's episode: euphoria, natural highs, humor and self-expression, bipolar diagnosis, mania, mood swings, endorphins, creativity, self-awareness, mental health, exercise and planks, body image, aesthetic philosophy, medication debate, manic phases, personal struggles, laughter and healing.

reflecting on facing uncertainty, finding balance, mental health, & content creation.

In today's candid journal entry, I dive into an unexpected moment that left me feeling uneasy, reflecting on how mental health, daily routines, and content creation intersect. From the challenge of balancing emotions with bipolar disorder to resisting the pull of analytics, this episode explores the highs and lows of life, content creation struggles, and thoughts on AI, societal pressures, and personal growth.
Topics in today's episode: mental health, bipolar disorder, content creation, Descript, AI in content, avoiding analytics stress, daily routines, personal growth, social pressure, walking for exercise, trauma from The Boys, darker themes in Stranger Things, balancing reality and mental illness, goth subculture, witch identity, The Addams Family, reflecting on past and future influences.

living alone, ai girlfriends, & podcasting chaos.

In today’s raw and unfiltered audio journal, I dive into the ups and downs of living alone, the funny (and creepy) side of AI girlfriends, and my latest struggles with setting up a podcast. From deep thoughts on independence to ranting about zodiac signs in The Sims, this episode is full of random reflections and real talk. Plus, a little tech-frustrated as I try to figure out how to distribute my podcast across platforms. Join me for a rollercoaster of thoughts!